The Book

SHAMELESS is not just another book about sex.

It’s an intimate examination of how Pamela’s experiences healed lifelong issues with food and body image and, most important, helped her weave the disparate roles–daughter, friend, partner, mother and workplace wonder–that she played, that all women play in.

When my friends talked about their lovers, I could see how intoxicated they were by being wanted in a bodice-ripper, can’t-wait-another-second way. I finally had to admit that I wanted that, too.
–from Shameless

Behind the Book

buythebookMaybe it’s a congenital disorder. Maybe it’s something I learned as an itty-bitty baby. But when I find something wonderful or liberating or even mildly helpful, I can’t keep my mouth shut. Even my mother, the original unfiltered talker, marvels at my compulsion to spill the beans whenever I’m on a mission.

Over the past four years, I took a pretty zany voyage from an honest-to-goodness repressed, monogamous, middle-aged, hyper-achieving, chubby woman with two kids to an honest-to-goodness monogamous, middle-aged, accomplished chubby “sex goddess” with two kids.

Once I owned up to my deepest, untapped desires, I discovered a wellspring of happiness and self-confidence inside me that extended to every part of my life. Whoa! I thought. This is incredible! Everyone should know they have the power to experience life in all its richness right now, just as they are. No diets, no plastic surgery, no nothing. Just intact, healthy sexuality.

If I can stop warring with my weight and workaholism, I think most people can. I know that when I stopped denying my hearty and normal sexual appetites, I started losing my uncontrollable urges to overeat, overwork and over-compensate. For the first time, I could relax in my own skin.

Admitting your desires takes a tanker-load of courage, and a rip-stop web of support. That’s what I’m here to provide. That’s my mission. That’s why I wrote SHAMELESS.

Even if it’s a bit outside the box for a respected advocate in the infertility field, I believe it is essential to speak up about healthy sexuality.

With few nonprofessional people willing to speak openly about the power of sensuality, the average sexually curious person is stuck with dry textbooks or fictional characters that they can enjoy but can’t emulate. I ain’t no Cougar Town Courtney Cox. Most men I know aren’t starring in Hung. But it doesn’t mean we can’t feel as sexy. And when we feel that sexy, that good about ourselves, when we feel we deserve pleasure, and lots of it, that’s when so many things that seemed impossible can become our new reality. As Dr. Christiane Northrup so succinctly put it, “Pleasure is a life-changer.”

Who better to write a tell-all about allowing pleasure to change your life than a woman who lived it and can’t keep a secret? Yeah, I know. I’m shameless.

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